Destined Desire
by NeeC311
Summary: This is a Shawn/Chloe fic. AU type story of Shawn's point of view (I think).
1. Prologue

Destined Desire  
Prologue  
  
  
  
  
The sound of the hospital machines were the only breaking point to the quiet room. So quiet the drop of a pen would shatter the glass if it could. Since by the impact it would make on the ground and the wave of vibrations would have the power to cause such an effect.  
  
Weeping and mourning of families across the thin walls could be heard. The lost of a loved one. 'A loss' he thought solemnly and rubbing his eyes to shake the feeling beginning to take place.   
  
"Why? I loved you so much! Why did you leave me? How could you do this to me? To us?" the woman in the other room screamed. He could tell she was crying by the breakage of her voice as each word was being shouted.   
  
Then the anger she used to her dead lover came to his own mind. His blame was occurring, how could he had done what he did? Why when he was loved so much? And it hadn't been an one sided emotion. Yet he led the person to believe it so. Now it was his own faults. For the false implications he led them to believe. And the same ones that now placed him on the side of this hospital bed.   
  
Where he grabbed their hand and began slightly rubbing it softly. For his on ease and theirs, to show them that they weren't alone after all.  
  
'Alone' he thought as a tear trickled down his cheek and landed onto the bed sheet. Watching the tear spread as it landed then it stopped absorbing more of the sheet with its moisture and sat there comfortably until eventually it faded away.   
  
Kind of like what had happened. It was his life's saga. He was the tear that instead dying on the lips of the one he loved it died elsewhere and it slowly faded away. Like his soul was in the process of doing.  
  
He couldn't take another blow. He thought when he lost his first love he would never love again. Not after the way he lost her but somehow he had began falling for someone and having not even realized it. Yet this heartache this time around was hurting than any other pain.   
  
With this one, there was more at stake. And he knew if they died so did he. The thought of suicide was residing in his head and became the neighbor to misery, sorrow, guilt, and all others that fell into the category of his current state.  
  
Listening to the machines provided way for a quick joke to ease the monitors noises, "Its funny," he began, "it seems so quiet in here. That I'd bet you could hear a roach piss on cotton from the farthest corner of this room," he smiled bitterly. Looking back down to the one hand that held one that felt lifeless.  
  
It was ironic situation. The same man made machines were now determining his fate. It would only take one sounder for him to know it was over. They would be over, but he would die alongside. Not willing to face a life that didn't have them in it. Not again would he live a life without the joy he had gotten from them. Even when he constantly tried to stir away and never coming out with how he felt.  
  
Thinking of an incident he began to panic as he made his confessions to the unconscious person, "It's all… If I never and… She didn't mean anything to me. I don't know what I was doing, but I don't hate you… if you must know one thing (breaking into sobs and gripping their hand harder as his knuckles turned white) it has to be that. I…. I never hated YOU! Not you, not ever! I loved you! And…. And its all my fault…. All" crying harder, tears racing quicker. Then that's when it happened.  
  
The monitors all started buzzing. The lifeline was dead and now so would he be too…  
  
  
  
TBC…. 


	2. His Wedding Day

Destined Desire  
Chapter 1: His Wedding Day  
  
  
  
  
  
Standing at the alter, he couldn't envision a more beautiful day. Here he was with his long time girlfriend about to venture into that next step of their lives. Which would be a symbol of forever until death should do them part. And for the years that would follow after this day, he could barely wait.  
  
His best men stood besides him at the alter. One of them being that of whom is Philip Kiriakis standing close to his left at the alter awaiting anxiously to get the show on the road.  
  
But none could know his amount of nervousness he felt at the time. Not only would he be marrying forever, but he would be getting a child out of this. A child created out of love and not just any kind, their love. It was special to him.   
  
Then she came, walking slowly in the arms of her father. And for a moment time stopped as he eyed her in her delicious wedding gown. The dress was an ivory color. Trimmed down to her feet and a 10-feet train that followed her. Her bouquet was finely furnished with ivory and yellow roses. Then there was one center red rose. The yellow had been a direct representation of their long friendship that led to their love, the center rose. And it would last through the ages, even if the rose didn't.  
  
Finally making it up to him, her father spoke, "Now I know you'll take care of my princess. You've become like another son to me Shawn. And that goes for you too," he said pointing to the bride.  
  
Once her father left he said in amazement, "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. I'm glad that this day has finally came because now I can shout it out to the whole world how much I love you and our child"  
  
She shuddered at the mention of their child, because when in fact it wasn't. And she couldn't bare another moment of hiding the truth from him, what type of wife would she be entering a marriage based of lies. About to speak up she was hushed when the preacher spoke.  
  
"Today, we, as the friends and family of Shawn-Douglass Brady and Isabella Black are here to come pay honor to their love. And pay attribute as the walk down a new path in the days of their lives…."  
  
The preached drained out to Belle and Shawn. Shawn was in his own world of happiness and Belle was getting nervous. She noticed the apprehensive looks on Philip's face. He was sure to say something. And Shawn wasn't a fool, he would notice Phillip's fidgeting actions in no time.   
  
When all of a sudden it came time for the preacher to say, "If there is any man who sees why these two should not be adjoined, speak now, or forever hold your peace."  
  
Philip couldn't hold it back any further, "Shawn, there's something I need to tell you. I mean I'm sorry for interrupting but I don't think I can carry this secret any further."  
  
Shawn was confused and quite pissed that he had interrupted the ceremony said, "Look, I'm sure it can wait, okay? I won't to have a normal wedding to the woman I love. Is that possible?"  
Belle silently placed her head down and let a tear fall. She was glad that she decided to wear a veil. Even if she was suppose to cry on her wedding day, those tears were suppose to be tears of joy not regret.  
  
Philip looked Shawn straight in the eye, "Shawn you need to know this before you proceed. I'm not trying to destroy you, but I was hoping Belle would tell you before it got this far. It isn't right for us to have kept this secret from you so long. But we did because you were so happy and we didn't want to hurt you, Shawn. That's why we kept it so long."  
  
Shawn was beginning to get worried and turned to Belle with tears in his eyes, "What secret Belle? I mean it isn't anything bad is it (smiling nervously)? What could be so serious that Philip here couldn't keep until after the wedding?"  
  
Belle looked up to reveal her scared face. Crying harder she said, "The secret about the baby's paternity. And who's his actual father is…."  
  
Shawn grabbed her hand for her to continue. Was she trying to tell him what he thought she trying to. No, it couldn't be. In order for that child to be anybody else's she would have had to cheated on him. Something he knew his perfect girl was not able to do. Or was she?  
  
"This baby is not yours, Shawn" Belle whimpered out.  
  
Shawn face became hurt not angered as he asked, "You cheated on me Belle? But why? For who?"  
  
Belle looked to the best men that stood past Shawn's shoulder and sighed, "I'm sorry Shawn. Please forgive me."  
  
Shawn saw where she was looking. He read her eyes and her glare fell to one person that completely shocked him. Him of all people, why? Why Belle? Was this the pain that all broken hearts sought after?  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC….. 


	3. Cat's Out the Bag

Destined Desire  
Chapter 2: Cat's Out the Bag  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jason couldn't take it any longer and finally spoke up, "Shawn, stop."  
  
Shawn turned to him, "How could you man? You of all people, why would you do something so… So backstabbing. And to me you friend, your best friend? Remember it was always you, Brady, Philip, and me? What changed? What made you do what you did to me? You and Belle both (he continued turning to Belle)? Belle, I thought you loved me, why would you sleep Jason?"  
  
Belle couldn't answer him, "I don't know Shawn, I don't know. But I do love you, Shawn please don't leave me. Don't ever leave me. I love you" she said getting to her knees and holding his hands kissing it through her veil.  
  
Shawn looked up to God. His eyes were sore and red. Yet he continued to cry and sob up future tear downpour but it couldn't be stopped. His anguish and pain was in the way he now carried his shaken body.   
  
Hope stood watching her son, wanting to reach out to him but Bo wouldn't let her, "He's got to handle this himself Fancy Face." And she couldn't help but cry loudly. Her soon was in the most pain of his young life and she couldn't do anything to prevent heartaches like this.  
  
Without a word being said Shawn dropped Belle's hand and stepped off the alter. He began to walk out the chapel until he reached the doors and turned to his friends and family, "I'm sorry. There is not going to be no wedding today, nor any future one. Sorry I wasted everyone's time for the lie I lived and believed in. (Directing his attention to Belle and placing a hand over his broken heart) Sorry for holding something in my heart that I thought was so sacred that was only a one sided affair."  
  
And not even looking at her Shawn placed his hands on the doors handles and said, "Belle keep the ring. It means nothing to me now. Once upon a time, a long time ago, it stood for everything. Now it stands for what your definition of love is. Secrets, betrayal, and…(sighing he said) A love gone past."  
  
Shawn left the chapel it didn't even look back. He let the tears soak his face and as he stepped to the outside he noticed the limo's that was awaiting the arrival of the bride and grooms party. That would take them to the reception.   
  
Walking to no place unparticular he walked mindlessly to any destination that meant far from hurt. But judging from this hurt, he vowed to never let anyone get this close again. With new goals he was going to find his destiny outside of Salem. Because that's where it lay.  
*********  
  
Philip walked over to place a confronting arm around Belle, "I'm sorry Belle. I just couldn't not tell him. I didn't think he would walk out on you. It's all my fault and I'm so sorry" he cried to her. Belle didn't slap away when Philip came to comfort her.  
  
"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have kept it from him so long. I know he doesn't like secrets. And this is all my fault. I just wish I knew where he went to make sure he doesn't hurt himself," Belle said softly.  
  
Brady looked to his little sister and said, "I'll go find him and try to talk some sense into him."  
  
"NO BRADY!" Belle jumped from Philips arm and stared at Brady, "No, don't you go trying to fix my problems. I did this to myself. Just go find and check on him, please…" she begged.  
  
Brady nodded to the terms and left the chapel. He hopped into his silver cougar and thought to himself, 'I come back into Salem only to enter drama. I was better off staying back in New York with Chloe. I wonder what my lady is up to?' But before he could dial her number he saw Shawn slumped on a bench looking down to the sidewalk.   
  
Brady pulled along side him and rolled down his window, "Need a lift?"  
  
Shawn didn't even feel like arguing so he stepped into the passenger side of the car. Not wanting talk about what happened less than ten minutes ago, "So how's my best girlfriend doing? I'm glad I didn't invite her now. Not after I spoke her ear off about how wonderful Belle is."  
  
Brady couldn't blame him for saying the things he said the way he did but still, "Hey that's my little sister your fuming over about. But if you mean your best friend who happens to be a girl, Chloe? She's doing fine, I mean we're doing fine. I never really thanked you for introducing us. So let me do that now, is there anything I can get for you?"  
  
Shawn thought for a moment, he really did want to discuss Chloe. He hadn't gotten to talk to her in 3 days since the wedding was approaching and he missed that. He really did miss her. "Can you get back the time that Belle felt so insecure about us that she cheated?"  
  
Brady quieted as he had already began driving anywhere, "If only. And then if I could, I wouldn't. Some things are destined to happen. Then again, I don't know, ask me later and I might have an answer from my genius mind (he smiled to Shawn)."  
  
"Yeah, right Brady," Shawn countered and laughed lightly. When the cell phone interrupted their small joy.  
  
Brady answered with a smile but it dropped once he heard the other person speak frantically, "WHAT! What's wrong with her!?"  
  
  
  
  
TBC….. 


	4. Cheating Hearts

Destined Desire  
Chapter 3: Cheating Hearts   
  
  
  
  
Belle sat on the alter foot of the steps with her father embracing her tightly. Holding him and staring at the doors as if Shawn would reappear looking handsome once more with his strut. He would walk to her and pick her up, twirl her around and say, 'I love you, Belle, nothing or no one could ever change that. There is no one I love more than you. Marry me.' But she knew that wouldn't happen, only in a perfect world it would. Then again his statement created in her mind wouldn't be exactly true. Even if Shawn couldn't admit, there was someone Shawn loved more than her. And it was her fault that led to Belle's betrayal. Though she could never tell Shawn, because of course it could not be her fault. No she was too good to do just that. When it was her fault. No Shawn's love for her was greater than what he let on and when he left that summer to visit his beloved Chloe, her insanely jealous reactions took her mind over. Reason left and revenge entered her mind and so a summer fling began with Jason. Though they never did anything with that led to sex their actions toward one another spoke loud enough for you to hear that was the road it would lead to. When Shawn finally did return they had constant arguments that always related back to Chloe. She finally realized she had nothing to be jealous of about Chloe when Brady began going out with her. But it had already been too late. The deed had already been done one fall night when she and Shawn had had a bad fallout. In which she walked out on him and ran to the arms of her other lover. Her love for him was not like Shawn's but there was something strong enough there for her to have done what she did that night. The same night in which Philip found out about them. Him and Jason shared an apartment close to the university. Crying as she came out of her thoughts she quickly went back into a memory she tried so often to forget about.  
  
(Flashback)  
  
"Ms. Black, I'm happy to tell you your about a month along in your pregnancy. I know you and Shawn will be sure to start having names as quickly as they come to mind" the nurse smiled politely. She known of the young couple since they both were children of the core families of Salem. And Belle's mother was none other than Marlena Evans so if anybody who didn't know were really behind in gossip.  
  
Putting on a fake smile she responded, "Yeah, sure. I bet Shawn is going to just thrilled when he finds out the news. He'll be so shocked he won't no what to do with himself!" Looking to her stomach she rubbed it gently and smiled. At least the child had been created out of love. Belle smiled as she thought, 'Thank goodness for make-ups. Had we not made love the day afterwards I don't know I would of explained this to him.'  
  
Sighing heavily she got up from the cold metal table and began her way out the hospital.  
  
Elsewhere in Salem at the time….  
  
Shawn sat perched on a bench in Salem Park looking into the blue of skies. It reminded him of her often. And as hard as he tried sometime he couldn't understand why when he saw the deepest of blue he thought of her eyes instead of Belle's. Though it intrigued him it scared him at the same time. He couldn't fall in love with his best friend, even if he wanted to. She belonged to another and he once had a chance for her love. But failed miserably when they were able to pursue something. Thinking back to the summer he spent with her and the almost kiss they shared. He shook it from his head, he couldn't do it. He loved Belle and belonged to her. It had been her insecurities that led to the kiss, that's all. And it would have been wrong of him to place Chloe in such a position. He could never hurt her like that. "Never," he said aloud staring the sky as if he were somehow speaking to Chloe through it.  
  
(End of Flashback)  
  
Belle cried even more as she had a sudden attack of having relived what had only happened moments ago. The words, the emotion, and him walking out on her rocked her body to the end. She screamed from nowhere and yelled, "Oh Shawn (crying harshly) Please come back!" And stood up leaving her fathers arm as she began walking quickly to the doors and then a full sprint but stopped all of a sudden. She looked at her wedding dress with wide eyes.  
  
All the guests stood motionless as the followed the path of blood that led to Belle and soaked the train of her dress. She turned to look at them and held her stomach as she sobbed, sniffled, and looked with sad eyes as if she given up. Her eyes flew back and she fell out onto the floor with a large thud. All came running to her side and Jason quickly picked her up. Marlena phoned the hospital and all were soon off to the emergency room. On the way John phoned Brady who seemed to almost have a heart attack once hearing it.  
  
*****  
  
Brady shifted the car into full gear and turned it quickly. Shawn looked confused at his quick turn of actions. Brady quickly spat out, "Belle fell out and was bleeding severely. I don't give a damn how you feel about her now. We're going to the f**king hospital, got it?"  
  
"Loud and clear" Shawn said with no emotion. He knew of not how to feel. But he knew he needed someone to talk to. And looking up to the blue sky through the passenger window, he thought of no one else better to call right about now….  
  
  
  
  
TBC…. 


	5. Tragedy Strikes

Destined Desire  
Chapter 4: Tragedy Strikes  
  
  
  
  
"This is how I felt the first time with the thought of ever going to one of them" he thought as he stood huddled over the bed and watched as the doctors worked feverishly to revive the only and probably last girl he'd ever love. The only who had always been his true love.   
  
But it was too late her time had expired. He knew it was coming. There was the one time hinted toward a future ending liking this. If only if he paid more attentions instead of trying to change himself so much. He probably would of saw her own turmoil had he not been so wrapped in a place that knew no sunshine. And going back to the day that gave way to the first hint, he realized that was the actual first day he had made that change by leaving his past…….  
****************  
  
Shawn knew he wouldn't be able to handle the sound of beeping machinery his ex-fiancé would be plugged into. Nor would he be able to handle what little comfort being in a hospital would bring. His mood was already damper and the thought of going to that type of place had been out of his mind.  
  
Soon he would be arriving to another destination outside of Salem and what it held for him, which was nothing. Nothing could ever make him go back and nothing was holding him back from making a change for the better. Nothing would stop him following the path he would take once he arrived in New York with Chloe.   
  
It might take her awhile to adjust to his new attitude but through time she would have to learn to accept it. He had called her a half a hour in advance to let her know to be accepting him soon, but there was a few things he would need to pick up at the store.  
  
His new wardrobe for starter's, he had once been a rebel when he had first met Chloe, under circumstances like family gatherings he would thank and praise his change because of Belle, but it hadn't been her that saw the darkness of his soul. She would never understand the depth in which Chloe would travel.  
  
Hitting up any and all rugged dress shops once he had finished with his shopping escapade he took a taxi over to Chloe's.   
  
When he finally made it to her place he remembered being flushed with feeling of sorrow. Like there was a bad energy being exhibited to the whole apartment and that there a bad vibe being rumbled upon.  
  
Ringing the doorbell and then knocking on the door lightly, it took her, someone of Chloe's youth and pact longer than usual to even respond to the sound of the doorbell of the knock. Another few minutes went by before she came scurrying across the floor to open the door. When she did open it, she was shocked beyond words.  
  
Not only had she been in shock, so had Shawn. Chloe had did some growing and her full figured your body looked even more breathtaking but her physical traits were all in tact. It was her eyes that gave way to believe something deeper was wrong. A root of undiscovered truth that she had been concealing to all. But in her eyes could he see and know that she was hiding something.  
  
Her eyes appeared to be drab but that could be due to lack of sleep or all that had happened. In either case it was taking a toll to her mental state whether she fessed up to it or not.  
  
It had been a quite moment of stares before Shawn enveloped her into a deep hug, "It's been too long" he whispered to her ear.  
  
"yeah too long," she said as she hugged him tighter and felt herself weaken in more than one way. Her body melted to his touch but her body was still so very weak from her health. But hugging Shawn the way she had made it all vanquish.  
  
After all the pleasantries and catching up the two sat on the couch catching up to the old times of fun. Occasionally, but only in their minds, the times of missed occasions occurred. Missed kisses and the near fatal attractions to go further than just a dance, or just a hug would happen when the two were in there own world of love, pain, passion, desire, and built up heat.  
  
It was about 10:57 PM when they had been watching "American Pie 2" and laughing at the actions one would go to just to masturbate when the phone rang.   
  
Chloe answered it and her look went down as she was fed the news to her ears.   
  
Shawn lightly listened, but as much as he knew was that she was speaking to Mr. Black, or John to him or would have been father. But no that was now ages ago to him and so it didn't even matter anymore.  
  
Once the phone call ended Chloe walked over to the couch and sat back down so quietly and very to herself. She was like a zombie staring blankly to empty surroundings, her eyes said nothing. But without help her eyes flew back and she passed out. Her body was limp in Shawn's arm and he rocked her body back and forth as her head bobbed as loose as a slinky. Something was wrong but could it had been the phone call that upset her so or was it something else. His first attentions to how she reacted when she had finally answered the door.  
  
After the assistance of some water and light tapping to her cheek she finally raised a lid lazily.  
  
"Chloe, what's wrong? Why did you just pass out just like that then?"  
  
"She's dead and he's probably mad at me. You know he blamed me, it's all my fault."  
  
"What Chloe, who's dead?"  
  
"The baby, she lost her baby and if I know Belle. It's my fault."  
  
"How is it your fault, I still don't understand"  
  
"There was once a time in which I told Belle my true feelings about you. It didn't go over well no, not at all, but she sent Brady. Now the dream is gone, your gone, you're hers not mine. No you could never be mine."  
  
And she began to doze off again. She was vulnerable and quite out of it. But Shawn had the balls so he asked her, "Why?"  
  
"Because she would use my love for you against me to hurt me, that's why I'm moved so you would never know. You would never know about…" and she went to sleep.  
  
Shawn was confused but knew it wasn't the time to dread on what Chloe had been saying. He didn't even know how to feel about what she revealed about Belle's actions nor the fact that Belle had just lost her and Jason's love child.   
  
"The universe works in mysteries ways" he thought. Because Belle would know more pain at her own lost. What goes around comes around and now because of it, she lost her child. Which hurt Shawn because he still felt as if that child was his in some ways.  
  
That night he slept with Chloe in his arms and carried the two to a disturbing sleep of recurrences…  
  
TBC….. 


End file.
